✏️ Easing the Back-to-School Transition: A Therapist’s Guide for Parents and Kids 📓
As summer winds down and the school year approaches, families often feel a mix of emotions—excitement, nervousness, anticipation, and sometimes even dread. Transitioning from relaxed summer routines back into the structure of school can be challenging for both parents and children. As a therapist, I often see how stress around this time can strain family dynamics, heighten anxiety, and lead to behavioral issues in children.
The good news? With a bit of planning, empathy, and communication, families can make the back-to-school transition smoother and even meaningful. Here are some strategies to support both you and your child during this shift.
Start With Empathy—For Your Child and Yourself
Change is hard—even when it’s expected. Children might be feeling excited to see friends again but anxious about a new teacher, a harder grade, or social pressure. Parents may feel overwhelmed by the return of packed lunches, morning routines, and homework battles.
🧠 Therapist tip: Acknowledge feelings without trying to fix them right away. Say things like,
“It makes sense that you feel nervous about the first day.”
“I’m feeling a bit stressed too. Transitions take energy for everyone.”
This normalizes emotional reactions and builds emotional literacy, something that helps kids long beyond the classroom.
Create Space for Conversation
The jump from late summer bedtimes to early wake-ups can be rough. Instead of flipping the switch a day or two before school starts, start adjusting sleep and wake times gradually—ideally a week or more in advance.
🛏️ Begin scaling back bedtime by 15–30 minutes every few nights. Reintroduce morning rituals (getting dressed, eating breakfast, packing bags) to help the body and brain adapt.
📅 Consider posting a visual schedule for younger kids, so they know what to expect and when.
Create Space for Conversation
Children may not always open up about their worries unless you create a calm, nonjudgmental space for it. Avoid grilling them with questions. Instead, offer gentle invitations to share.
👂 Try these prompts:
“What are you most curious about this year?”
“Is there anything you’re worried might be hard?”
“What’s something you’re looking forward to?”
It’s also okay if they don’t want to talk much—just showing you’re open builds trust.
Involve Kids in Preparation
Involving children in back-to-school prep gives them a sense of control, which reduces anxiety. Let them:
Pick out school supplies
Help plan lunches or outfits
Practice the walk or drive to school
🎒 Even young children benefit from knowing where things go in their backpack and what their school day might look like. This builds confidence.
Validate the "Back-to-School Blues"
The end of summer can feel like a loss, especially for kids who thrive in the freedom of unstructured time. Allow space to grieve that a little.
Say:
“It’s okay to feel sad that summer is ending. We can hold that feeling and still make space to get ready for school.”
Don’t rush them to “look on the bright side” too quickly. Emotional resilience grows when we allow children to feel all their feelings, not just the happy ones.
Model a Calm, Confident Attitude
Children look to adults for emotional cues. If you appear overwhelmed or anxious about the school year, they’re likely to absorb that.
😌 Practice regulating your own stress by:
Taking deep breaths before morning rush
Setting realistic expectations (not everything has to be perfect!)
Asking for help when you need it
Being calm doesn’t mean being emotionless—it means showing that you can manage difficult feelings without falling apart.
Watch for Signs of Ongoing Stress
It’s normal for kids to feel nervous at first. But if your child continues to show signs of distress a few weeks into school—such as sleep problems, stomach aches, refusal to go, or emotional outbursts—it may be time to talk with a counselor or school psychologist.
Therapy can help kids (and parents) build coping skills and navigate school-related anxiety in a healthy way.
Final Thoughts
Back-to-school season is a transition for the whole family. It’s not just about school supplies and new shoes—it’s about emotional readiness, communication, and compassion. Whether your child is starting kindergarten or heading into their senior year, your support, presence, and attunement make a lasting difference.
You've got this—and your child does too. 💪
